If you only knew
by crazy mcabbie fan 1000
Summary: Toony and ziva are having some problums but when tony calls her to apoliges he hears somthing that could tear their relationship apart. I do not own anything for got disclamier but it is pure imagination. Songfic-shinedown R
1. Chapter 1

"Ziva" Tony yelled as she finished rambling and ran out. All he could think about was all the time they had spent together and now it had come down to all this. The screaming, the fighting and the hate. It was all to much. Ziva words could not stop replaying in his head. "You don't care about me" , "What am I Just a game?", "Do I mean anything to you" and the worst "you really truley hate me, Don't you". Oh if she had only known how Tony really felt about her. He wanted them to be more then just an item, he wanted them to get married and have kids. It was ten o'clock and Tony had to go to sleep. He had fallen alseep just moments before he heard a voice say to him.

If you only knew  
I'm hanging by a thread  
The web I spin for you  
If you only knew  
I'd sacrifice my beating  
Heart before I lose you  
I still hold onto the letters  
You returned  
I swear I've lived and learned

Was it ziva? As he heard the voice it got closer until he saw her face and her reaching for his hand. As he graped her hand all felt right. As they sat and talked he poured out his feelings to her. He told how everyday he wakes up afraid that he would suffer the same fate kate did for the team. He explained that everytime he holds the gun and hears shots he thinks of her. He told her of how she ment everything to him. How the only thing that gets himthrough the sleepless nights is how looks to the left and sees the picture of him holding her that summer night on the beach.

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, if you only knew

Tony enjoed having someone with Ziva to talk to when he was upset. Ziva was the only thing that kept him doing what he was. The thought of losing her forever at that very second was never thought of. He would die if that happend. He wanted her to be his forever and ever but how. After all that he had said to her. The days events replayed in his head as he tried to figure out where everything went wrong.

If you only knew  
How many times I counted  
All the words that wen't wrong  
If you only knew  
How I refuse to let you go,  
Even when you're gone  
I don't regret any days I  
Spent, nights we shared,  
Or letters that I sent

Tony contiued to think of the things that made Ziva as wonderful as she was. He was ready to give up all of his ways if she would give him her hand in marriage. He had plaaned out a way to do it and everything. Tommrow would be the day that he got down on one knee and said the words that he thought he would never say. "Would you marry me"? to Ziva. He was ready and hopefully so was she.

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, if you only knew

Ziva's phone was ringing and it was tony and he was not letting her miss this call. He wanted everything to be good between those two for the big day. Who he heard on the other line was the last person he wanted to.

If you only knew  
I still hold onto the letters  
You returned  
You help me live and learn

It was Gibbs. As he heard the tone of gibbs voice he knew somthing as wrong. As he heard the words that was coming out of gibb's mouth he wasn't paying any attenion all he could hear was the first few words he said "She's been shot Toney, Ziva's been shot".

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me I  
Toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me  
Back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe  
In is you, believe in is you  
I still believe in you  
Oh, if you only knew


	2. Chapter 2

"I still do not own anything it it pure imagination."

As Ziva was lieing in the hospital bed fighting for her life Tony was rushing to her side with a teddy bear and flowers already ready. As he was driving 20 miles over the speed limit all the thoughts of what could happen to her were rushing through his head. She could die before he even got there. He may never get to see his beatuiful girlfriend alive ever again. The thought of losing her killed him. He had a whole life planed out for them starting with asking her to marry him at 12:01 that day. 12:01 was the excat time three years ago that he had asks her on their very first date. The day that she made him fall in love with her all over again. Today was the day that he had planed to do it because not only was it their anaversity but it was valintines day, the most romantic hoilday of the year. But how could he do it now with her in the shape she was? She was about to die and he could do nothing about it.

As he entered the hospital he felt a sence of darkness over come him. The last time he had been here was when his father passed away of cancer. Now it was going to take Ziva away to. No he would not let that happen. When he went up to the receptionist they seemed to already have a vistors pass ready for him. Room 210 Mr. DiNozzo. He walked into the room trying to think that he would see her fabulous face awake and **ALIVE**. What he saw was no dream. She was lying their unconcious with tubes attached to almost every part of her body. It broke his heart with every beep that moniter made. Was she in any pain? If so, how much? What could he do? She was helpless and Tony could do nothing but sit there and stay by her side no matter what happend.

As the days went on Tony got many calls from friends, family,co-workers,and old associates wondering if she had gotten better. All he could tell them was that she was out of that coma and able to talk,walk,and interact. The days went on and little by little and she got a little better each day. Soon she had gotten better and was well enough to go on a walk around the area. When Tony had some time alone with her he got down on his knee and said"Ze, at first I was gonna get down here on one knee and ask you to marry me but know I..................................


	3. Chapter 3

As Tony was sitting there Ziva didn't know what to do. Was he proposing or not? The thoughts were all rushing through Tonys mind. Did he really want to ask her at a time like this? Did he want to take the risk of asking her then her being taken away from him. After all her health had deterorated the past few days. Maybe this was it. Maybe it was not suppose to be those to together forever. Never mind that he really wanted to see her in a beutiful gown walking down the aisle. So many hard things to think about but there was no turning back now. He was already down there.

"Ziva for as long as I have known you I have loved you and now I have finally relized that the only women I want to wake up with every morning is you. Your smile makes me smile, Your laugh makes me laugh and evertime i see you hurt I'm hurt. Ziva we go together perfectly and now i wanna know if you will spend the rest of your life with me rather it be short or long Ziva David I love you, Will you Marry me?"

Her eyes filled up with tears for she knew that that commitment would be quit short. "Tony I do love you but there somthing you should know. The docter said the bullet periced my heart and slowed the beating . I was told that was dangerous. Tony they predict I only have one year left. So do you still want to marry me because if you do I would be happy to."

Tony sat there holding Ziva now both of them were crying. He lifts his head and say " I'll tell you what we will still get marryed and then we will beat this because first when we are together nothing can beat us and two I love you andthe only way that thing is going to kill you is over my dead body.


	4. Chapter 4

Ziva sat there with a small smile on her face because she knew Tony was right. Nothing could defeat them if they stood together but she also knew how hard that was for them and she relized the truth of the saying United we stand, Divided we fall. What if the commit scared Tony and he left. She could not do this alone. The only reason she had to fight was Tony. She hgad to fight for him. She had to be strong. All thease things she was suppose to be were things she did not want to be. She wanted to fall into his arms and cry. She wanted to ive up the fight and just go in peace but Tony deserved more then that. She did want to marry him but what if she never made it to their wedding day. What if she plans for months and then just before the big day her time is up. Then what would happen. Would Tony just move on and forget her? She wanted him to move on with his life when the time came but she did'nt want him to ever be with anyone else. What was she to do. Would it be better to just end it now so then when her time came it would'nt be as hard? Tony sat there still with tears in his eyes. He wanted to say everything was going to be alright but he could'nt. The truth was he was just as scared as she was. Maybe even a little bit more. He wanted to be strong for Zi but how could he. He could'nt be strong when the women he love was on a time limit with her life. One year. One year with Ziva. That was'nt fair. They both looked at each other and knew there was no way out until the docter came running out. He said Ms. David the results got mixed up you do not have one more year to live because your fine. The bullet competly missed evrything but tissue. You will be able to go home in a few days and have an amazing wedding. As soon as he said that Ziva looked at Tony and jumped into his arms. He knew that there had to be a mistake. He knew Ziva was strong and now they had a huge wedding to plan without a time limit. He had never loved Ziva so much as he did when he saw the tears of happieness. Ziva looked over at Tony and said with a giggle in her voice "Now your really stuck with me". They both laughed and shared a very romantic moment in each others arms!


End file.
